When you're afraid, what do you reach for?

Greetings,

Most of my walk with God right now isn’t one big crisis. It’s a daily trust.

There are things we’re waiting on that we don’t have answers to. Parts of my work are still unknown. And there are moments when I start to panic.

It usually comes when I look at where I am compared to where I wish I was. I wonder whether I’ll ever fully be the man I’m trying to be. As a husband. As a father. As a provider.

Provider is the one that gets to me. Not because I don’t provide for my family. I do. But not to the extent I wish I could, and that bothers me more than I usually say.

On those days I have to re-anchor myself in the Word. It’s all in God’s hands. I have to play my part and leave the outcomes to him, even with some dreams and desires still unfulfilled.

I know what I believe about God. I’ve spent the last five letters writing about it. And I still have to choose, most mornings, to trust him with what I can’t see.

Near the end of Trusting God, after chapters on God’s sovereignty, his wisdom and his love, Jerry Bridges has a chapter titled simply “Choosing to Trust God.” Not feeling. Choosing.

Look at the order. The fear comes first. David doesn’t pretend it isn’t there. But he answers it with trust, and by the next verse he is no longer afraid. Trust doesn’t sit alongside fear. It’s the answer to it, and it’s what drives fear out. Some days that happens in a moment. Some days I have to choose it again before the day is done.

That’s not what most of us reach for first, though. When fear comes, most of us try to fix it ourselves. We overwork. We stress, and then our families end up carrying our stress with us. We get busier and more restless, leaning harder on ourselves instead of depending on God.

It looks like responsibility. Underneath, it’s fear with a work ethic.

Trust has been the thread of this whole series. In No. 33 I asked whether we really believe God is sovereign or just say we do. In No. 34 we sat with his silence. In No. 35, whether he is still good when the circumstances aren’t. In No. 36, what’s left for us to do if he’s in control. And last week, whether a man can miss God’s will. Every one of those letters comes down to the same moment. You know who God is, and you still have to decide whether to put your weight on him today. Not once. Again tomorrow.

Elisabeth Elliot often passed on an old piece of advice for days like that: do the next thing. Not the whole plan. Not the five-year answer. Just the next faithful step.

That’s most of what trust looks like on an ordinary Tuesday. I don’t know how some of what I’m waiting on will turn out. I do know the next step. So I take it.

But I’ve learned I can’t do that alone for long.

Bridges tells of a friend he had known for years without ever really being close. Then hardship hit them both at the same time. His friend’s was far worse than his own. But in caring for each other, they were drawn together in a way years of ordinary friendship never managed.

I wrote in No. 18 about calling a brother when I was going through something hard. I knew the verses. I didn’t need more information. But hearing the Word preached back to me by someone who knew me refreshed my soul in a way reading it alone didn’t.

What I’ve learned since is that my battles, my struggles and my victories were never meant for me alone. They’re meant to be shared with the body of Christ, with brothers I can encourage and challenge, and who can do the same for me. It’s the reason I started The Next Chapter. These letters, the podcast, all of it has been my attempt to share what God is teaching me, and to encourage other brothers along the way. And it’s why, closer to home, I want a few brothers around me who can be strengthened by what I’m walking through, and whom I can strengthen in theirs.

The brother who preached the Word back to me was passing on what he had received. Now it’s mine to pass on. And yours.

Somewhere in your church there is a man who is afraid right now and trying to hold it together on his own. He knows the verses too. He may just need to hear them from you.

Bridges doesn’t end the book with trust, though. His last chapter is “Giving Thanks Always.” Psalm 56 ends the same way. The psalm that opens in fear finishes with “I will render thank offerings to you.” Thanks is where trust ends up.

So this is where the series ends. Not with answers to everything we’re waiting on. With a choice. When fear comes, answer it with trust. Take the next step. And don’t walk it alone, or let another man walk his alone.

What fear are you trying to carry alone right now, and which brother will you call about it this week?

Grace and peace,
Seun

If this one landed, No. 33 goes further — seunadeyemi.ca/reflections/33-you-say-you-believe-god-is-sovereign-but-do-you-really